Interpersonal Communication - class notes - Spring 2008

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Interpersonal communication

Liat Kolik

-this course integrates psychology and sociology. It is less theoretical and more pragmatic 

80% course/20% articles. Multiple choice test 

28/1/2008

Intro

Which channels do we use to communicate?

-many channels, of which verbal elements is just one of them

-70% of communication/perception of the other is based on non-verbal communication

ài.e. silence says a lot!!! And silence has a lot of diff. meanings, depending on the context!!!

      àthe verbal element of communication might only PR element 

Meta-communication: i.e. smells/colors/kinds of voicing which we communicate ourselves w/. i.e. authority jobs in hierarchical organizations "allow" them to enter their subordinates' space 

-interpersonal communication is just one kind of communication

Artifacts – those exo-somatic things which communicate about us – i.e. what we wear, perfumes/etc 

Other kinds of communication

• mass-communication – i.e. TV/internet/etc… (there is a difference between mass-communication tools (actual equipment) and kind of communication elements used in it. one of its elements is that is a one-way communication and not dialogue
• intra-personal communication – i.e. signs written in own journals – our own idiosyncratic symbols meant to communicate to ourselves. Could also include facial/body movements!
• Supernatural communication – parapsychology/telepathy (from one's awareness to another's awareness). Science did not accept this. Some think: it will be accepted one day. Some people explain it as a contributing stimuli leading 2 people to the same thought/telekinesis – moving objects/communication w/ objects àscientifically questionable

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Supporting communication: communication which is supposed to support the communication

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Typology of interpersonal communication

• the communication channel:
• face-to-face (the course will focus on this a lot)
• moderated channel -ξθεεηϊ- (i.e. telephone, intercom, television) – misses out a lot of non-verbal communication
• bypassing –ςχιτδ – i.e. letters/newspapers/websites – messages only gets there if recipient opens it

-some messages fall b/w categoriesàwhat's the destination/message is intended to whom? ài.e. someone (crazy) proposing to someone on TV – is it meant to be interpersonal? Mass-communication? 

-some messages (non-verbal leaks) – we hope they won't get to anyone else, yet they slip

ài.e. minimal facial expressions – that small facial expressions which we seek to hide yet are there ephemerally – there is skill  to identifying them 

 
 

Other typology

Who-to-who –communicator/communicated-to

1. dialogue – not clear who is the communicator and who is the communicated-to, especially in non-hierarchical contexts since is it 2-way communication. The response is more likely, and faster
2. individual-to-group – what is the communication-net?
• star – one "star" –i.e. the lecturer who controls the communication
• workshop ργπΰ – everyone speaks to each other
• chain: one speaks to the next who speaks to the next, etc….
• hierarchical: i.e. communication has to flow a certain way – can't bypass people in the organization

-response less likely to come - is more diffuse [diffusion of responsibility]

3. public speech – not yet mass-communication. In group, there is a common goal and interaction, continuity of meeting (without continuity, sociologically, it is not a group), there is a structure (also conscious and also unconscious roles), group has an identity element. The public speech is to a large gathering –w/o a group context, and this has different rules of communication. –i.e. the destination of the message is anonymous/no boundary –i.e. an article we publish in the newspaper – we do not know the destination. In this case, there is difficulty creating intimacy. There is an element of dialogue, since the crown could react, but on the other hand, there is a hierarchical element – we know very clearly who is supposed to speak and who is not

 

History of communication

development

• vocalizations – perhaps imitate nature phenomena
• words – develops human race – you can also speak in the dark/more messages/more abstraction àincreases complexity of thought
• written – Greeks: this is "artificial memory" – allows to remember more/communicate is more ways. Until then, knowledge is passed on by a few "experts" – i.e. town elders. àwriting ability gave one strength
• print: increases message spreading
• telecommunication
• computer communication

 

-one does not cancel one the previous one –just enhances it, and puts the previous development in a lesser light 

àyet, there is no replacement to the good ol' interpersonal communication since other communication ways do not answer our basic needs 

Communication sciences

-this is a rather young science. It synthesizes itself from various other fields

• Physics (i.e. how to build the machineries)
• Natural sciences (i.e. smells) – pheromones – some claim that sexual attraction is based on pheromones. Some businesses use smells to increase business
• Social sciences –
• i.e. anthropologists speak a lot about non-verbal communication within the cultural context –verbal: i.e. words that exists in some cultures and not in others – i.e. Eskimos usage of many more words for various kinds of snow
• Question: does language create reality (i.e. if we do not have a word for it, we won't recognize the subtlety which the word is trying to convey –i.e. we won't recognize the specific kind of snow) or does reality create language (we will recognize subtle differences)
• Sociologists: looks at sub-kinds of languages
• ethno-lects – differences based on ethnicity
• dialect – a sublanguage based on area
• gender-lect
• etc.
• Psychology:
• Cognitive psychology: information processes –input-save-output
• Social psychology:
• Convincing ways. (i.e. using of authority (lecturer), or other channels of convincing).
• There is also an element of info regarding the speaker  (i.e. which kind of authority he uses – expertise/$ power/organization hierarchy/etc…).
• How the message is given.
• Who is the receiver?

 
 

4/2/2008

Group communication

1. Dialogue
2. group
3. mass-communication

 

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Inter-personal communication

Intro

-communication satisfies human needs

• content needs – news – reduced ambivalence. Emotional –we see where the other is at and it activates our motions
• process needs: the content –i.e. escapation –i.e. watching a movie in order to "empty our head". Going to theater when you can see the same movie at home – but the going out is a factor. Going to doctor is not only to get medical information but also to give a framework. Some people use TV [mass-communication] to schedule their days

In history, you have: -person to person

Today:

• person to person [also phone or internet – is person to person with a moderator]
• person to machine
• machine to person

 

characteristics of interpersonal/mass-communication

Interpersonal communication characteristics

-not black or white

• satisfies primary human needs [i.e. acceptance/interactions/content/processes]
• gestalt – we see the "other" in the communication as a holistic –body language/smells/etc… - also how we shake hands tells a lot about us
• greeting/separating communication – i.e. shaking hands – tells a lot about the person – sweating/strong – we can mostly only do this in direct contact of communication
• 2-way -messages go both ways. Sometimes, it is not clear who the speaker is, and who the receiver is [unlike mass-communication] – even in class – the students speak and give feedback through body language.
• Meta-communication – we use hints to receive info – i.e. body language/interpersonal space [distance tells a lot about the place of the person]
• Spontaneous
• You can control the process – i.e. feedbacks – more control
• Speed: faster than mass-communication
• Here-and-now

 

mass communication characteristics

• Potential receiver is infinite –you do not know how many or who it will get to àthat’s why you have censor
• The crowd is heterogenic
• Less intimate
• Anonymous – you do not know who your crowd is
• though attempt in modern times to reduce anonymity
• the crowd does not know each other [but even in public speaking, there is some contact] – here there is no
• not spontaneous – speeches are prepared – so is the newscast. The feedback element reduces this a bit though
• you can not control the process – the communicator controls what is happening
• speed – potentially slower to set up than interpersonal
• -yet- spreads the message faster
• Exception – Bnei Brak's megaphones when a message has to go out
• complexity of mass-communication – need more resources than interpersonal
• cheaper to get the message to so many people – dialogue is stronger [you can control processes/feedback] - but takes more resources. So some people prefer the interpersonal dialogue and not mass communication

 
 

modern times: distortion of borders between categories

      à-i.e. more room for feedback in mass-communication

      àtries to speak in personal terms  

Mass-communication in modern times [post-modern]

• globalization – "one village" – info can get to everywhere
• de-massification – the info gets channeled to more specific populations
• pluralization – more channels of communications, simultaneously – i.e. computers/radio/TV/news-paper [and lots of them]

 

25/2/2008

inter-personal communication – the focus  of this course

terms

• message – the content -info – whether emotional or other informationals. Simple/complex/etc…
• speaker – ξεςο – the person initiating the message – it is sometimes hard to tell who initiates the message. His characteristics influence communication – i.e. his trustworthiness, expertise, temperament
• receiver –the receiver of the message - could be one or many; person/machine. Influenced by concentration level, understanding level (i.e. is the message phrased beyond his linguistic level?)
• reaction – the receiver's reaction which does not get to the speaker
• feedback – those reactions which gets to the speaker
• noise – whatever disturbs the reception of the message – i.e. b/c sense of untrustworthiness/hierarchical structure of organization, lack of clarity etc….
• channels – the way which the message is passed from speaker to receiver

2 kinds

• verbal – only refers to the words. Intonations/etc…. are non verbal. Weight - influences 30% of the message

   -there are genderlects/ethnolects/etc..

-silences (lack of verbals) are also categorized here. (and there are deciphered differentially, depending on context

• non-verbal – has the heavier weight of the communication – 70% of the message. This is b/c in verbal element, we use 1 sense. Here we use almost all senses.
• Tone of voice
• Exo-somatic – artifacts (i.e. clothes/makeup/status symbols)
• body (we assign attributes based on body form)
• smells (natural and non-natural) – and how much culture tried to hide or make smells
• facial expressions
• Interpersonal space – influenced by culture/kinds of relationship b/w people (and what happens when sometimes the expected standard is breached)
• Hall:
• Intimate
• Public

 

Things in non-verbal communication whih is not learnt:

• Para-verbals – how our mood states influences our verbals – i.e. when we are excited, our voices break
• our pupils expand when excited

 

àsometimes, there in insynchronization b/w the verbal and non verbal. The downside is that we miss our important information and that it gives a sense of lack of trustworthiness

• encoding – δφτπδ – the encoding of the message – the usage of symbols. some things are signs – has natural meaning and no symbolisms/encoding. Symbols are not clear-cut but rather represent something. The culture assigns the meaning to the symbol – that’s why its "encoded" – i.e. diff. b/w "home" and "house" is a cultural diff. some symbols are non-verbal. i.e. some body language (represent something). our relation to time also has meaning – if we are late, does that get understood as granted or as degrading? Depends on our culture and the meaning it assigns to it. the point is that things represents something. most basic facial expressions are not symbols but signs b/c they are natural/universal and not culturally assigned. The culture might influence how much we use them but not our basic usage of it. in fact, most physiological things, i.e. shedding a tear, is a sign. How we interpret is (deciphering it) is something else
• decipher – how we interpret the encoding. Which interpersonals influence this? i.e. the culture/communication skills of the receiver. Minimal facial expression – those facial expressions before the speaker becomes "non-authentic". Attention, age, mood. A study shows that identical twins has their own systems of encoding and deciphering. Another study shows that a mom is able to decipher the kid's cries. The context influences the deciphering of the message. The same message could be deciphered differently by different people. Even signs are interpreted differently! Some smells have encoding (i.e. perfumes, and their assigned symbolism/image/association) while others do not (our natural smells). Smells are a stimuli that we can't ignore that easily. Sometimes, we did not try to say something =sign, but it came out as a message (symbol)

 

3/3/2008

-non verbal and verbal communication is the main categories of communication 

-today, we'll speak about non-verbal communication

55%-70% - of weight is given to non-verbals

-we can "fake it" in non-verbal communication, but this is harder than in verbal communication. 

Non-verbal channels

• facial expressions – culturally independent. It is defined as facial muscles changes which expresses emotions. Is has some basic emotions: happiness/sad/fear/surprise/anger/disgust/degradation (αεζ). We know it is cross-cultural because of studies in the 40s (before mass-communication to artifact it) that surprises "look" the same in all cultures (pictures of faces were shown to people in many cultures) – the was very little confusion (especially in close emotions – surprise and fear). Study 2: blind-from-birth people also have facial expressions. Critics: babies learn b/c mom's touching faces. There are evolutionary-survival explanations – i.e. open faces of surprises – to input more info (increase eye-pupils size), happiness – show teeth – b/c that was the social meeting –i.e. fighting for territory

   àwhat is culturally different is the amount of facial expression – i.e. some cultures try to repress the emotional expression ài.e. wearing sunglasses to hide some elements of emotional facial-expression

   àgofman: people hide less when people do not look

• eyes: there is a popular phrase: "the eyes are a window to the soul" – it is hard to "fake" the emotional expression through the eyes. Looking at somebody means: that he is interested in something in me. But there are various kinds of looks: i.e. staring/anger stare – which could be tension. There could be an intimate look. But all of this is culturally influenced. i.e. n some cultures, you do not have eye-contact. There is also a context influence –i.e. social facilitation processes help athletes and performers. But usually, staring is seen as negative. It is a kind of invasion of privacy. Both starting and invasion of privacy are related. Staring: men stare at women more in public – because they are supposed to be initiators. In closed settings, women have more eye contact – b/c they seek intimacy more. The pupil expansion is universal.
• Body gestures:  body movements related to communication. It is non-veral communication and is all culturally related. If your verbal communication is good, then gestures help it – gives the impression of vitality. When you verbal communication is lower, then gestures are interpreted to be negative, because the impression is that he has not coherent  - "he has nothing to say and he is hiding it through body gestures"
• Interpersonal space – this is also a separate issue. Hall: a space we take with us and its center being our body. It is changing (depending on the relationship) and moving (with us in different contexts, but the same relationship). This is to be differentiated from territory, which is a defined place. It changed depending on the kind of interaction. The space between people says a lot about the relationship.
• 4 types of interpersonal space:
• Intimate: the space which people who are in an intimate relation keep – 0-60 cm (i.e. mom/child). We feel threatened when people breach into our intimate space. Physical sexual assault is breach of this category (there are other kinds of sexual assault – i.e. not promoting someone for not having a sexual relationship. People in authority breach this category more than the subordinate. Men touch women more than vise-versa.
• Personal - 60-150 cm – anthropologically related to eye contact and to hand contact. We use sight/hearing  are the main senses, but also has smell/contact senses.
• Social: 150-350 cm - has a functional element – you can still see facial expressions and hear the person: also has hearing and seeing but not so much tactile and smell,
• Public space: over 350cm – public figures from the crowd. Reasons: security/foreground and background – seeing the whole crowd

 

-people manipulate those distances in order achieve something – i.e. the political figures who become "intimate" – popular in Israel – politicians go to speak to people on the street. if intimate partners are seen in public with a distance, hen there is probably something there. Territory is a non-mobile space.

• primary territory: my thing – and I use it for something constant – i.e. my parking space
• secondary territory – not my space but I use it regularly – i.e. same chair in the classroom
• public territory – not ours – open to everyone  - but sometimes, people use communication to try to indicate their space – i.e. ordering tickets for theatre/putting an object

 

interpersonal field: ζιψϊ δδϊψηωεϊ - where the social interaction happens

-this influences the interaction

      ài.e. in a closed space, the interpersonal space increases and when the space is open (i.e. outside) then the interpersonal space decreases – b/c less noises of communication

            àpoint is that context has influence 

ài.e. the specific situation influences how much space we allow ourselves –depending on what the function of the situation is 

-in intimate relationships, even outside, people are close 

10/3/2008

Non-verbal communication

Study: observes singles-club

• sensual elements:
• looks: how the other looks
• hearing: the music/speaking – how the other reacts – can see tension/pessimistic/security/control àaccent/speaking speak – says a lot about the person
• smell: good smell – helps closeness. Fast dancing =sweating = tells about general health, but also how the person deals w/ smell – i.e. deodorant
• touching – shows body – i.e. hand sweating shows tension

 
 

Interpersonal space – a non-verbal communication

-It a communicative function – it is symbolic 

àall of this influences who we choose 

-culture also influences how much interpersonal space we have ài.e.  in eastern cultures, more closeness  

-we try to protect our space – if someone breaches it, we feel uncomfortable 

Criteria:

1. kind of interaction [see last class] – i.e. hall's 4 kind of space àit shows the kind of relations b/w the people – intimate-personal-social-public
2. the field of happening –ζιψϊ δϊψηωεϊ– is it open or closed space? – in closed places, people distance, except in intimate relationships, and vice versa in open spaces
3. context/function of interaction – i.e. going to doctor is a personal – yet he does intimate things – b/c that is his function
4. culture – influence how much space people use – i.e. funny stories of cross-culturals – one person gets closer while other distances – i.e. people speak personal things on phone, in public.

 

Today, mass-communication/advertisement  tries to enter into awareness.-it is beyond intimate breaching 

Artifacts – status symbol

-non-natural things that we have – i.e. clothes/wedding ring/furniture – shows status. Those artifacts are not their natural b/h, but an empty impression show – i.e. the people w/ many books often never read them. 

Another communication channel: smell

Smell

-it is important – even for survival – it warns of danger. Humans can distinguish 10,000 smells

-smell memory is strongest kind of memory – it gets burnt into memory

-seen as strongest in interpersonal attraction – presumed to have a reproductive function 

study: non-verbal communication in job-interview:  smell causes a lot of impact àthis happens b/c of evolution/it is strong and you can't ignore, like other senses 
 

2 types of smell:

1. artificial – it is an artifact – perfumes/etc…. as communication they show hygiene. But also shows status – it shows differential status b/w different perfumes. Hiding bodily smells is cultural – some cultures hide them less.
2. Natural – smells also indicate diseases. Over-sweating can also be seen as a health issue. our smells change according to menstrual cycle/reproductive situation/etc…

 
 

Pheromones

-another way to look at bodily smells

àthose are hormones which spread smell, which is not perceived in consciousness in the receiver. There is an organ in the nose, just recently discovered which perceives the pheromones. They influence us in very primal ways. Until recent discovery of it in humans, it was seen as only an animal thing

• endrostenol – the pheromone attached to testosterone
• kapulin – the women's pheromones.

 

àthey are created in erotogenic regions.

àwhen we hide them, i.e. shower, we lower them. Paradoxically, we might want to increase sexual sensation by showering, yet we actually lower it. 

Curiose – aggressive criminals have more endrostenol –b/c they have more testosterone, which creates their aggressions 

Study:

Stage 1) picture of man – some had endrostenol sprayed on it and other pictures did not – they were come attractive

Stage 2) yet if the picture is of an aggressive person it is too threatening, and he is "rejected" 

Voicing – as a communication

Para-voices – the extra-linguistic sounds 

Status side of para-voicing

• intonation – can show status symbol
• accents – i.e. is he an immigrant

 

Personality side of para-voicing

• security – i.e. won' speak in public?
• How involved the person is in the situation – i.e. lively vs. monotonous

 

Meaning

Intonation – which word we choose to accent could change the meaning 

Voicing and emotions

Exciting situations: in situations which we can not control our expression of emotions.

• Voice is one of the ways which emotion goes out beyond our control (in those over-exciting situations) – voice breaks/can't speak/etc…
• it can show our emotions – long breaths/yawn
• it can show emotional intensity

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Next class

• Body-structure – also have a communicative element
• Touching elements of communication
• cognitive schemes we have of people – we generalize the whole scheme based on one element that we identify in a person
• behavior as communication

 

17/3/2008

Non-verbal communication –continued

-touching/body structure/physical appearance schemas (=stereotypes of behavior) 

Touching

-very few studies – b/c it is a narrow field àonly really studied in intimate settings 

How do we interpret touching? Depends on:

• gender – who is touching
• context – public or intimate
• culture – i.e. men kiss more is middle east

 

goals of touching

• physio-therapeutic
• jealousy
• no specific reason
• could be control/authority – authority figures touch more
• could be aggressive – harm

 

interpretation of touching

• therapists working on contact-based therapies are more comfortable with contact
• study: more related touching = more comfortable

 

gender: US studies: the gender differences is in the greeting/parting

àlecturer said: women less shake hands àits more manly (its initiative behavior) same with eye contact in public

-women cry more 

Study: who touches more? How is it interpreted?

• men touch women more than the vise versa – in young/middle adulthood
• reverses in later adulthood

 

why? – b/c women b/c stronger in mid-life

• Men – touch shoulders more – out of authority/ownership
• Women touch by holding hands
• Hormonal change
• Gutman: after parenting, women is less dependant on husband's benevolence
• Jung:
• Anima: woman's side
• Animus: man's side
• In midlife, people seek completion through strengthening their weak side

 

Body structure

1. body defects
2. body structure
3. physical esthetics

 

body malformation/defects

-esthetic variance b/x of malformation (including handicap)

àin the past, society killed sick babies

• Romans sacrificed them to gods
• Greeks – killed those babies because of esthetics
• Middle ages – negativistic à"Satan entered those kids!"
• In Israel = good early screening techniques = abortions

 

àwe all have esthetic needs which develop, after other needs have been met 

àit is hard to deal w/ the deformed - fears:

• magical thinking: it is contagious
• that communication will require a lot of help w/ the handicapped

 

body structures

-we relate to people based on their weight

àSheldon – 1940 – body structure is related to delinquency (=both are inborn) 

3 stereotyped body-structures

1. ectomorphes: skinny = fearful/internalized
2. mesomorphes: athletic/wide and strong body. Need control/socially accepted
3. endophomes: round = calm/pleasure-seeker/humorous

 

body structure's role in communication

• in extreme cases, fat women don't find work
• mesomorphes –perceived as more concentrating on body/not so smart (this stereotype is broken nowadays)

examples

• football players once perceived as dumber
• high-tech companies now have gyms
• fat = lack of control stigma
• today = lot of focus on body's looks

 
 

physical esthetics

Karen Bion: w tend to like beautiful people more – because it serves our esthetic needs (hoping it will rub on us)

• constancy: in the same situation will this individual repeat his behavior.
• High constancy -he will always do this
• Low constancy – he is just doing this today
• consensus: will everyone show the same behavior?
• High: all the class is talking
• Low: only this student is talking
• [uniqueness?]

 

Kelly claims that with tests, we can see the person's locus of control assumptions

à2 kinds:

• Internal – i.e. he talks in class b/c of his personality
• External - - i.e. b/c of situation

 

What brings external locus of control?

• low uniqueness
• high consistency
• low consensus

 
 

What brings internal locus of control?

• high uniqueness
• high consistency
• high consensus

 

-in both cases, consistency is high. w/o it, we can't infer generalization

àWe make many referring mistakes b/c we do not check consistency 

Question: why does Kelly refer to referring to the locus of control and not personality?

Answer: because we can not infer the reason for his b/h. why is he speaking in class 

-this model is and idealistic model, yet no one follows it completely in daily life. We round corners [especially b/c we don’t see a person over time] 

Reference biases

1. basic reference bias: assuming internal locus of bad situations, and give too little weight to situational factors – i.e. stereotypes about body structure.
2. Body structure
1. Question does body structure influence communication?
2. Answer: in extreme cases

-today, there is lots of focus on how the body looks 

3. Physical aesthetics

Karen Bion: speaks about the weight beauty has on interpersonal communication. We tend to like beautify people more. This happens b/c it answers out aesthetic needs [hoping that it will rub off on us]. We assign to them more success/easier life. Probably, less aesthetic kids have to fight for their place, and thus have less security 

4. Schemes –body image has its share of stereotypes
5. Behavior – has a communicative element – i.e. Kelly's reference – how we refer locus of control of the behavior. It has implications to how we assume that the person is. i.e. if a person speaks in class or falls on a banana – we assume things. 3 elements in referring: 1) uniqueness (does he behave like this always or depending on the situation 2)consistent and 3)uniqueness

 

Defensive bias: in others' disasters -we refer internal locus of control to others – so we won't have to deal with the possibility that sometimes, we are victims of luck. "to me it will not happen" 
 

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24/3/2008

-behaviors allow us to assume things about him

àKelly: we look at whether his behavior is internal or external locus of control?

      àproblem: in reality, this is not so clear bus – there are biases in our assumptions

• b/c it takes lots of effort to see consistence.
• We also react defensively and assume according to how will serve us best = i.e. least anxiety. i.e. we can't assume  "luck" in bad situations because, then luck might hit us next
• Hedonistically relevant bias: we will assume a certain locus of control according to weather the person was more or less pleasurable. More pleasurable situation [I got a better mark] means I will assume better locus of control for this lecturer

 

Stereotypes

-Important element of interpersonal communication

-could be how we dress/skin color/body structure/accent/etc… we assume things about people 

Stereotype is defined as a scheme about a group. It comes from Latin. It is a system of beliefs and opinions which are generalized about a person, group, social phenomenon, etc… stereotypes help us filter the vast amount of information entering our brain. It makes order in what we see. 

-also other schemes influence or thinking:

• self-schemes – our self image – not a singular thing – i.e.:
• actual self-scheme
• ideal self-scheme

->bigger gap b/w them leads to distress

• person-schemes: how does a specific person acts/behaves. i.e. if someone does something different than our generalization – we notice, and start assuming [based on who this person is]

-some people are more schematic than others: i.e. in times of ambiguity – leads to frustrations, and some can live with this better. Those who can't live as well with it run more schemes to reduce the ambiguity. 

• role-scheme – i.e. what we expect of a certain role – influences interpersonal communication!!! [what we expect] = social category.
• group-scheme
• social category: have a certain characteristic
• group: if there is interaction/goal b/w the former
• place-scheme

 

-stereotypes could be positive or negative.

-The danger [especially in negative stereotypes]:

• means you get shit for free
• self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

Positive stereotypes danger:

• you have to fit into certain shoes which you don't necessarily want.
• Pygmalion effect: person's stereotypes makes things happen
• Galatea effect: the receiver also starts to believe the stereotypes
• This leads to communication dysfunction.

 

Dissonance b/w scheme and person:

-i.e. we return to scheme if we assumed something un-schematic and we were burnt. This leads us to fortify ourselves in the scheme, regardless of what really happened.

-we have a certain script – i.e. scheme of what is supposed to happen. When something different is seen – i.e. a class taught outside, raises eye-brows 

differentials:

• stereotypes: only cognitive
• prejudice - γςεϊ χγεξεϊ: also has an emotional component

 

Aronson:

prejudice:

1. is an opinion/stance we have about a person
1. stance has 3 elements
1. cognitive – stereotype is just this part
2. affective – in stereotypes, it doesn't have to be negative, and could be different hue than the cognitive
3. behavioral
2. which is always negative

 

-the emotional component might be stronger than the cognitive [stereotypic] elements of interpersonal communication 

31/3/2008

Non-verbal communication – continued

question

-how  can we see non-verbal leakages/lies? How do we know that the other person is going through an emotional thing or it trying to hide something

Answer:

1. emotion theory

-when someone is lying, he is also undergoing some physiological excitement. Thus, lying = physiological excitement = less eye contact/irritability etc… (=fear of being caught? Shame of lying?)

2. control theory: we try to control our reactions – so we reduce our spontaneousness  -we are more rigid/communicate more sharply/express ourselves better – thus more rigidness = more lying
3. cognitive overload: more closed/less communication channels/less spontaneous – reduction of channels so nothing will leak - i.e. slower speech

 

-it seems like there is no one way to identify lies. It depends on the context as well as the person. Populations like anti-socials, salesmen and lawyers lie well. 

The weakness of reference (like locus of control) – we can't identify for sure what exactly stands behind the reaction: is he lying? Excited? Ashamed? Bored because of this fuckin` class? 

-emotion, like behavior, has a cognitive parallel. i.e. getting arrested and winning the lottery might have the same physiological arousal – but the difference is the cognitive title assigned to the event. 

Other non verbal leakages?

How d we know that the person is hiding something from us?

• physiological: blushing, sweating, eye-pupil widening
• minimal facial expressions: those few milliseconds before he hides the motion
• less synchronicity between verbal and non-verbal message: we have less energy to deal with this difference because we're too busy hiding other things
• voice: will b/c higher when excited. Almost uncontrollable when excited, unless a practiced liar is at hand

 

The connection between verbal and non-verbal communication

-non-verbal communication can replace the verbal communication. -i.e.:

• Replacement - sign languages (even non-deaf people use signs –i.e. pointing, etc...)
• Complementing: saying something while smiling. The smile augments the verbal message. Example: we want to emphasize a message that is not natural to us. So we make an ideo-lect – a personal dialect. And we also add artifacts, like dress, or something that supports the message we want to give [stronger message – both verbal and non verbal channels are used]
• Repetition: an artifact coming after the message [complementing is during the verbal message, repetition, is when the artifact comes after the verbal message]
• Emphasizing: less automatic/more active than complementary. also, complementary is not identical, but similar message. The emphasize tool is more
• Contradiction: our verbal contradicts our non verbal message – in order to soften the non-verbal
• Adjustment – i.e. "ahm", yawning – to adjust the message – i.e. yawning = telling the other: "you are boring me!". Eye contact – tells the other if to continue speaking or not.

 

-we spoke of the 2 channel – verbal and non-verbal. We spoke much more about the non-verbals, since it has more weight. But the verbal communication also has significance. It shows underlying thought processes. We also dream in language. 

-anthropological studies assume that before words, people used vocalization taken from their environment and together with physical signs made the message. The usage of words [abstract] came much later, and it brought on a cultural development. Less need to use hands – clears them for other things. You can also communicate in the dark. 

-verbals – only 30% of message. But it is easier to cheat on verbals than the non-verbal communication. Para-verbals - When the words break/silences, we can tell a lot – perhaps he is hiding something. 
 

Language development

-until 6 month of age: ability to use about 100 phonemes. English has 49. Hebrew has 31. the ability gets specified to the language that the kid learns 

-when immigrants come to a new place, they have to learn the new symbolisms of the place. àeach culture has their own symbols. language is one of those symbol systems 

-crying is one of way of communication. There is an attempt to classify the crying in  

-at age 6 months, there is beginning of specification into the language – copying the sounds that they hear more.

• age 1 – able to say one word. They are able to connect the sound and symbol
• age 2 – 30 words
• age 3 – 100s of words – the  big jump – girls are more verbal
• until age 6, if language is not acquired then it is well internalized.

 

When at one word stage, it is modeling – the kid is copying what he sees. The combination of words into sentences is no longer mere imitation but an inherent acquired 

-there are about 5000 languages.

• Chinese – 20% of world
• English – 10% as mother tongue
• Spanish – 9% as mother tongue

 

Makeup class 31/3/2008

Silences - in interpersonal communication

• perhaps more significant than verbal communication
• it is also verbal and also non-verbal

 

we will call something silence it:

• if he is present and not speaking [even if he is communicating verbally]
• if we ask something yet he won't react

 

-silences say a lot.

-silences have a differential messages in different context 

Kinds of silences

• intended vs. unintended
• intended:
• judgmental silence – i.e. someone is so angry so you can't answer "loaded silence"
• aggressive silence – passive aggressive - "angry silence"
• an activating silence  - I need time to think
• "thematic silence" – specifically not speaking about a subject to maintain vagueness – i.e. in politics
• Textual – i.e. some silences in prayer
• Rituals
• unintended:
• we don't have what to speak about
• shock
• silences which create intimacy
• external reasons: i.e. cultural

 

-we sometimes make mistakes in attributing silences- i.e. personalization bias – we assume that something relates to us – i.e. he is not speaking b/c of me. 

Why do people use silences?

• some are regressive – primitive connectedness b/w mom and kid
• others are

 
 

language

language variations

• stylistic variation – context-bound – i.e. how to speak in funerals is different from how you speak at a party
• social variations – i.e. gender-lect

 

gender-lect

-language and gender influence each other

-especially in older languages, there was a diff. in how the 2 genders speak. This was done to emphasize the women's sub-dominance to the men. A women's speaking in men's terms was seen as vulgar 

Some claim:

• women – more spiral
• men – more linear/direct

 

others: disagree claiming it is artifact. Journals tend to publish results which have significant (statistically) results, but negate the more significant # of studies which found no difference. 

4 theories of gender differences in speech:

1. gender language differences reflect social gender roles. And since men are in socially, more dominant than women, despite modern times
2. different socializations of boys/girls includes how to communicate àb/c it is functional to society – it creates order. In secular society – it is seen as "folkways" – a lighter sanction than in societies with greater gender segregation – i.e. but still, b/h seen an initiating is seen as unfitting of women
3. biological approach: i.e. men's vocal chords are bigger: men's are 18mm vs. 12mm for women.
4. Evolutionary – different communication styles for survival: men's are supposed to hunt/protect. Women are supposed to seek protection

 
 

Actual gender difference

-some claim that there are gender language differences. i.e.

Questions:

1. women ask more questions

-why? b/c men are more dominant is society and have to show strength – shown not to be true b/c many people reserve the right to ask the questions – i.e. police officers/lecturers. Alternate answer: the social role of women expects of the women to maintain the answers

2. women ask more accepting questions  - ωΰμδ πρτηϊ

->to gain acceptance? To maintain conversations?

3. women use more question intonations

-women tend to use more question intonations to end statements 

Empty terms

-women tend to use empty terms more: i.e. honey/sweetie

      àbut in men's jobs, they take the role to the extreme 

Why? b/c men tend to be less emotional/more direct. Parsons – women are more expressive while men are more instrumental. 

Increasing words:

Women use words like that more "very/such as" 

Women tend to use double questions:

-men use commands more. Women end to use question to ask for something:

àcan you close he door: 1)are you able and 2)will you? – so the person has a choice of saying no 

Humor

-men use more humor than women. Its starting to change. Women speak less humoristic. By the way, there is a link b/w intelligence and spontaneous humor. 

Why? Spontaneous humor requires initiative, and a failed joke is a narcissistic blow. So women act less initiatively. Freud: there is a cathartic element to the jokes/aggression allowed more to men than to women.

-there are more jokes about women than to men 

Linguistics:

Women use a richer and more correct language

      àwomen are more verbal

      Reasons:

• women read more
• women have more verbal roles: teachers/moms
• men are in the more dominant roles in society, so women try to acquire an positive image w/ "correct" their status

 

women apologize more

-b/c they are expected to be the one with the role of maintaining the relationships [at all costs?] 

Eye contact:

In public, men do more eye contact – b/c women are expected to be less initiative 
 

7.3.2008

Reasons for gender differences: biological, social, etc…. 

Gender-lect – how each gender speaks

Women:

• more hesitant in their speak à”I think that…”
• ask more
• more apologetic
• less anti-language (anti-institutional/swearing) – perhaps expect special populations like prostitutes
• speak less in a commanding way

 

-in phone, there are reduced non-verbal channels. In email, none!!! – so people have to phrase things less harshly, so they will not be misinterpreted, based on no other channels 

Myth: women speak more!!! This is not true, because studies show that men speak more in public while women speak more at home (i.e. b/c her presence in more intensely present), while men try to dominate in public. Those differences are explained by role. 

Gender content

• Women: speak more of home
• Men speak more of sports/politics (politics?)

 
 

Other communication interactions

Communication interaction

• men – more hierarchical – talks while all listen
• women – seek solidarity – speak more together, and its ok
• mixed interaction:
• men still want hierarchical, interrupt women more –especially when she is in a higher position  than him. The men try to control the conversation more. Them men always try to have last say. When the strong in the hierarchy doesn't end the conversation, there is a feeling of dissonance.
• Women listen more. They show more relation regulation – χωψι ειρεϊ. As seen in:
• More "ahm"s
• More eye contacts
• More feedback to the other speaker

 

Personal space

• men – intrude more women's personal space than vise versa
• women – care less about the intrusion into their personal space than men. They give up personal space more, while men fight for it more. Women use the element of space more in social interactions – they shift closer or farther depending on different social relationships. Men use personal space differences less differentially. It just shows you that men suck.
• Possible reasons:
• Men fear intimacy (i.e. they suck)
• Women were dependent so they had to adopt more to social situations

 

Sitting:

• Men take more space while sitting than women (because they are bigger? Fatter?). they sit more spread out than women
• Women sit less spread out and more symmetrical

 

Walking

• men walk less symmetrical/less subtly
• women walk very symmetrically

 

holding

• men use 1 hand to hold object/side of body
• women use 2 hands to hold object –and they do so more at the front of their bodies

 
 

-personal space is also a non-verbal thing and also an interactional thing 

Smile

-women smile more – even without an emotional message

      àthis may be because of their assigned social role – they are excepted to maintain social contacts 

Smiles do:

1. keep the other in the interaction
2. weaker side could use smile to "raise a white flag" – show that she is not talking his space

 
 

Eye contact

-gender differences depend on the context

• in public – men keep eye contact more
• in closed spaces: women have eye contact more
• men fear intimacy? Eye contact in public setting = more dominance?

 
 

Sub-languages – part of verbal communication

Linguistic phenomenon

• slang – un-correct language àused more in subcultures, such as youths, gangs. Adult have their own slang. Unanswered question – what is the difference between jargon and slang? Is it slang or group language?

 

-slang is not as anti-anti-institutional as curses. 

Function of slang:

1. defines a group identity (youths/soldiers/homosexuals)
2. defines borders
3. enriches language – to help language deal w/ new situations/emotions àexperiences which are bigger than conventional language

 

abbreviations and shortcuts - kind of slang – i.e. SMS 

Examples of Hebrew adult slangs:

ϊδιδ μι αψιΰ

με"ζ 

How does slang develop?

-youth’s slang changes rapidly 

Word change:

1. semantic change
2. shape change
3. adopting a word from another language

 

-there is an interrelation between culture and slangs. Slangs mirror society and social change

      i.e.:

• in collectivist times: “you are pure-bred”
• in individualistic times: “you are a star”

 

-some languages have more nuanced words than others

---

Caspi (researcher):

Functions of communication:

• Referential: focuses on external world/giving info - focus is the reference
• Emotive: expressive - shows how the speaker feels about the content spoken about. Focus of this function is on the speaker
• Conative: commanding message. Focus of function is on the recepient of the message.
• Phatic: tries to create, continue or end communication, checking the communication channel, etc... it's function is adjusting the communicative contact. Examples include: "Hi"; "How are you?"; "Bye"
• Poetic: that part of our communication which focus on the structure of the messege. The focus would be on the actual messege. We don't even notice how much we automatically use slogans, rhymes, alliterations, onomatopoeias and other poetic devices in our daily speech!
• Metalinguistic: this function deals solely with the linguistic code - i.e. to clarify something that was said.

Caspi: Mass Communication

Mass Communication's Communication Experience
3 elements of mass-communication:

• public
• fastest way to spread message to largest numbers of people
• it is transient - i.e. the news on the radio will be irrelevant tomorrow

Elements of the mass-communication audience:

• it's large
• heterogenic
• annonymous

Mass Communication organizations are:

• complex
• have organizational constraints
• are expensive

-in emergencies, the mass-media tends to be limited in information it gives, so people fill in the blanks with rumors

Question: is Mass-media accurate?
Answer: no! it takes one angle of things, but people like it when the first-hand info is lacking info

Kinds of integration between interpersonal and mass communication

• Parallel integration: using both interpersonal and mass communication channel to get the same message. The communication channels are not integrated and uncoordinated
• Complimentary integration: interpersonal communication is meant to support the mass-communication message

Malka Muchnik

Dialects: a varient of a language
Idiolects: a person's personal way of speech
Sociolect: a form of speaking by a group Slang: a sub-culture's way of speech: i.e. youths, soldiers, professionsla. Is similar to Jargon
Anti-language: has an anti-institutional element to it, so that authorities/other people will not understand them

Dialects are different. Some claim that the sociolects of weker social groups are a deficit to them, since language influence thought (defecit theory). Others claim that their sociolect just has a different logic (difference theory).

SPEAKING:
-is a mnemonotechnic (memory device) for various communication elements:

• Setting
• Participants
• Ends
• Act sequences
• Keys
• Instrumentalities
• Norms
• Genres

Children's learning how to speak
-Obviously, immitation and behavioral conditioning is not enough to teach the kid how to create new sentences. Chomsky Claimed that children have an inborn linguistic competence, which with experiance becomes performance competence as they actualy learn how to speak properly. Learning stages include:

• basic grammer
• proper speech
• social perception - by 14-15, the kid leans to speak like his group. speech becomes more adultlike
• stylistic variation - fitting speech to the situation
• standard style - not everyone reaches this level
• full mastery over various styles

colocation: a phrase of 2 words coming together: "turkish coffee": often used in rhetoric. using consistent colocations can be seen as part of a specific sub-dialect. Figurations -i.e. metaphoric speech - is also used a lot in rhetorics

Rhetorics have the Given or Theme part of it, and the new or rheme - which adds the innovative part of the point.
Languages emphasize different things of the same point:

• My car broke down - English sentence structure
• For me, the Car Broke (Italian sentence structure)
• I have a broken car (French sentence structure)

In Rhetoric, different slogans are used: i.e. sport/religious/economy/food/war references/slogans - all with the aim of swaying the masses
-usually, the shorter and catchier the slogan, the more successful it is.

-tip for test: study